Three first responders – a paramedic, a police officer and a firefighter – are motivated by a desire to serve the community. But they are drawn to their work by more complicated impulses as well: a need for control, an acute awareness of danger, and childhood experiences they are still running from.

Peter, a paramedic, served at high-profile disasters including the Port Arthur massacre and the Beaconsfield mine collapse. Despite helping countless people, he is haunted by the lives he couldn't save.

Tara, a firefighter, experienced devastating loss at a young age. She found camaraderie in the fire brigade, but also confronting reminders of her past.

Brett, a police officer, survived childhood neglect and abuse. Policing offered a way to impose order, but it eventually forced him to question his rigid moral view of the world.

In telling their stories, Martin McKenzie-Murray draws on his own experience and his research into trauma and recovery to ask profound questions about human motivation and survival. What draws people to these intense professions, and how does their work reshape them? And what happens when their carefully built walls between past and present, personal and professional, start to crumble?